LIMERICKS
15 There was a young man of Herne Bay,

Who was making explosives one day.

    But he dropped his cigar

    In the gunpowder jar.

There was a young man of Herne Bay.
14 A near-sighted fellow named Walter

Led a glamourized lass to the altar.

    A beauty he thought her

    Till some soap and hot water

Made her look like the rock of Gibraltar.
13 There was once a lady of Guam,

Who said, "Now the sea is so calm,

    I'll swim out, for a lark";

    But she met a large shark

- Let us now sing the Ninetieth Psalm!
12 There was a young lady of Riga,

Who rode with a smile on a tiger.

    They returned from the ride

    With the lady inside

And the smile on the face of the tiger.
11 There was an old lady of Brooking,

Who had a great genius for cooking;

    She could bake sixty pies

    All quite the same size,

And tell which was which without looking.
10 A farmer named Fisher of Boleyn

Once said to his better half, "How in

    The worl´ can I wear

    My new hat to the fair

If you´ve used it for milking the cow in?"
09 There was an old man of Blackheath,

Who sat on his set of false teeth;

    Said he, with the start,

    "O Lord, bless my heart!

I´ve bitten myself underneath!"
08 There was a young man of Benegal,

Who went to a fancy-dress ball;

    He went, just for fun,

    dressed up as a bun,

And a dog ate him up in the hall.
07 There was a young fir-tree of Bosnia,

Which daily got ros´nier ansd ros´nier;

    It at last caught on fire

    And flamed higher and higher,

And the Angels said, "My! But that was near!"
06 There was an old man of Toronto,

And people said, "Where has he gone to?

    Here´s his table and chair,

    But where is he, where,

This invisible man of Toronto?"
05 There was a young man of Oporta,

Who daily got shorter and shorter.

     The reason he said

     Was the hod on his head,

Which was filled with the heaviest mortar.
04 There was a young lady of Sweden,

Who went by the slow train to Weedon;

     When they cried, "Weedon Station!"

     She made no observation,

But thought she should go back to Sweden.
03 There was an old man, who when little,

Fell casually into a kettle;

     But, growing too stout

     He could never get out,

So he passed all his life in that kettle.
02 There was an old man of Thermopylae,

Who never did anything properly;

     But they said, "If you choose

     to boil eggs in your shoes,

You shall never remain in Thermopylae".
01 There was an old person whose habits

Induced him to feed upon rabbits;

     When he´d eaten eighteen

     He turned perfectly green,

Upon which he relinquished those habits.